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Thread: Jokes

  1. #11
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    The only thing that pissed me off is when political correctness says one person can crack a joke but I can't.

    For example "I was walking along the coast path at the lleyn peninsula when i looked down and saw a man in trouble at the rocks below. I ran to the lifeboat station at great ormes head to raise the alarm...

    The man in the boat house said "what do you expect me to do, I can't drive a boat.

    What do you mean, l cried, you're standing there in oilskins. How did you get the job as the lifeboat cox...

    I was the only applicant who spoke Welsh ..."

    Yes
    Oh if I cracked that live on stage at the millennium centre Cardiff id get drowned in twitter sh@t


    So how can Max BOYCE ?

    OK it was Rhyl and a lifeguard in his version but the same punch line.

    And I know coz I was there .. to hear him.
    --
    "The Inland Revenue is not slow, and quite rightly, to take every advantage which is open to it under the Taxing Statutes for the purposes of depleting the taxpayer's pocket. And the taxpayer is in like manner entitled to be astute to prevent, so far as he honestly can, the depletion of his means by the Inland Revenue"

    Lord Clyde: "Ayrshire Pullman Motor Services V Inland Revenue, 1929"

  2. #12
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    The irritating thing is that it is the liberals again being offended on someone else's behalf. You can tell an Irish man an Irish joke and he will laugh, tell it to a snowflake and he get's offended. I once called my son's dog a puff, and my son was offended at the choice of language. That takes the biscuit, he was offended on the dog's behalf
    Keep Britain British, whoops, it's to late

  3. #13
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    Frankie Boyle once told a joke about the Madeleine McCann and the studio audience roared with laughter which made me wonder where they had gotten the studio audience. If he had told the same joke at my local he would have been carried out on a shovel.

    Jokes often offend. That is alright. What isn't alright is when someone is vunerable and is mocked because they are vunerable.So McCann jokes are off the menu. On the other hand, I was once halfway through a joke when we were joined by a West Indian couple and I remembered the punchline and had enough mother wit to stutter to a stop, whereupon the lass said that if the joke hinged on all black men being amazingly well blessed, it wasn't true but it was a nice thought.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by uganda View Post
    The brilliant Frankie Boyle often goes close to the line, but I thought he crossed it when he made the joke about Jordan's disabled kid.

    By all means Jordan and Dwight Yorke, the parents, are fair targets, but a disabled child is not. It's not like he can give it back.

    A comedian doesn't have to nasty, Johnny Casson is funnier that whole of the lot "new age" comedians who don't tell jokes any more they talk b*****s running up and down the stage and they think they're funny (with a few exeptions).


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uM9FbHJiqHk
    Advocates of capitalism believe : "The fortunate must not be restrained in the exercise of tyranny over the unfortunate"

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Expounder View Post
    A comedian doesn't have to nasty, Johnny Casson is funnier that whole of the lot "new age" comedians who don't tell jokes any more they talk b*****s running up and down the stage and they think they're funny (with a few exeptions).


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uM9FbHJiqHk
    I like Johnnie Casson, and I like that style of comedy generally, but it's one style - and the 'penguin' joke he does in your clip was also done by another of The Comedians, Mike Reid. There are lots of others out there. You might not like Frankie Boyle, but he is excruciatingly funny to me and many others. His comedy is very intelligent and close to the mark, and there are occasions when he crosses the line, and I mentioned a particular time earlier.

    You clearly don't like humour that is crude or pushes boundaries, and that's fair enough. But such humour can be very funny, as can much safer humour such as heard from the Cassons, Ken Goodwins, Charlie Williamses, Norman Colliers or Mike Reids, can also be very funny. The test of comedy is how funny it is, not how clean it is.
    It's amazing how common this narcissism is: I disagree with person A, and I also disagree with person B, therefore A and B are identical - Daniel Hannan

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  7. #16
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    I find some of the quality New style more modern comedians unnecessarily bitingly vicious,Frankie Boyle is one, seems he has a cruel streak. As you say he is very clever, good delivery. Many New style younger comedians are not at all funny. Their conceived modern Humor seems to have no relevance to humor at all just pointless rants. On separate matter Fire Fox which I have been using for years has shut me out of the forum as an unsecured site I gone around the site to find away in and found this separate part of the forum to get a connection I've messaged the site but I don't know what happened. I did buy a Samsung smart phone which is connected to my PC and am using it's anti virus system can't make it out.
    Advocates of capitalism believe : "The fortunate must not be restrained in the exercise of tyranny over the unfortunate"

  8. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Expounder View Post
    I find some of the quality New style more modern comedians unnecessarily bitingly vicious,Frankie Boyle is one, seems he has a cruel streak. As you say he is very clever, good delivery. Many New style younger comedians are not at all funny. Their conceived modern Humor seems to have no relevance to humor at all just pointless rants.
    To me, comedians are neither New or Old style, they are just comedians, and each has their own style. Some are good, some are bad, regardless of what category you believe them to be in. And of course, whether each is good or bad is a matter of opinion. And of course, what might be a pointless rant to you - or even to me - might be very relevant to its target audience.
    It's amazing how common this narcissism is: I disagree with person A, and I also disagree with person B, therefore A and B are identical - Daniel Hannan

  9. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Borchester View Post
    Frankie Boyle once told a joke about the Madeleine McCann and the studio audience roared with laughter which made me wonder where they had gotten the studio audience. If he had told the same joke at my local he would have been carried out on a shovel.

    Jokes often offend. That is alright. What isn't alright is when someone is vunerable and is mocked because they are vunerable.So McCann jokes are off the menu. On the other hand, I was once halfway through a joke when we were joined by a West Indian couple and I remembered the punchline and had enough mother wit to stutter to a stop, whereupon the lass said that if the joke hinged on all black men being amazingly well blessed, it wasn't true but it was a nice thought.
    Frank Boyle Joke.

    Have you noticed all paedophiles seem to wear those little round glasses and have beards. What is it about that look children find so attractive
    Keep Britain British, whoops, it's to late

  10. #19
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    Just heard a great Frank Boyle joke.

    Q- What is the main cause behind paedophilia

    A- Sexy Kids

    Not very PC, but very funny
    Keep Britain British, whoops, it's to late

  11. #20
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    I finally got to play the triangle in a Reggae band!
    i just stand at the back and do my ting.

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