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Gissa job guv

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NO DOUBT if Nick Clegg lost his job as leader of the Liberal Democratic Party there would be a great future for him modelling the products on the front of knitting patterns. He has that sort of look, don’t you think?
In just the same sort of way Little David Cameron could make a living, of sorts, as a fishmonger - I can just see his cherubic little face beneath a boater hat handing over a “really nice portion of haddock madam”, as he deftly wrapped his wares in a sheet of recycled newspaper. None of our politicians has to do their jobs. Most of them could get proper ones if they tried a bit, they might be amazed at what they could turn their hands to.
Take that Theresa May, well I certainly would rather not, don’t you think that she is blossoming nicely into the archetypal pub landlady? She would be the sort that would take no nonsense and would sit at the end of the bar on a high stool, knees crossed, ruling the roost whilst slowly sipping at a gin and tonic. Of course, she would need a husband who wore a double-breasted blazer, suede shoes and addressed his male customer as “squire” but she would prove a natural.
The brothers Miliband do not immediately bring an occupation to mind. It is always possible that politics is the only solution for a pair so patently unsuited for anything respectable. Certainly, they are not the sort you would allow in the front door or anywhere that is carpeted.
I suppose that at a push they could take up employment as undertaker’s mutes, both have that sallow and sullen look that would add to the perpetual mournful look that so becomes the calling. Of course, they might be so good at it that they would frighten the horses but there are possibilities there.
Without doubt the thought of the easy money, the effortless winning of publicity and the constant fawning of those even less talented than themselves has attracted many, or most, of our politicians into their present disreputable way of life.
There is hope for some of them. They could be saved from their foolishness and guided into productive and honourable livings. Perhaps we should start a fund to help rehabilitate habitual politicians. Above all it is themselves that they need saving from.
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